


Perchance to Dream

by CourageousGryffindor



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hollstein - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 07:23:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6145996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourageousGryffindor/pseuds/CourageousGryffindor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few days after fleeing for their lives into the Library's subbasement, Laura and Carmilla find themselves separated by the shadowy presence of a dreamland predator known as the Jäger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perchance to Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting open in Word for nearly a month and so I figured it was time to stop being a perfectionist and just post it already. Though I still may make some more changes. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Warnings: mentions of depression/death; suicidal thoughts; creepy-crawly monsters (no spiders though)

_The room was unfamiliar but somehow Laura knew that it was home. A haze clouded the edges of her vision, making it impossible to get a clear idea of where she was. But somewhere there was a warm fire and in the background played a tv or radio. The smells of baking and chocolate and damp earth filled the space. She was standing, or maybe sitting, and filling her was the sense that she was not alone._

_“Where am I?” She asked no one._

_“You are home, child.” The voice that answered was sweet and fluid, like hot chocolate, and it filled Laura, comforting her. She looked around the room and saw nothing._

_“But, this isn’t my home.” Laura spoke again to the air. “At least…I don’t think it is.”_

_The reply came softly this time, barely louder than a whisper and right up against her ear. “Oh, but it can be.”_

~*~*~*~*~

Carmilla returned to find Laura wrapped beneath a thick layer of blankets. Her eyes shut tight and her hand curled into a fist near her nose. She barely stirred as Carmilla dumped an armful of food beside her.

“Laura…” Carmilla kneeled beside her sleeping figure, gently touching her shoulder. “ _Laura.”_

There was no response.

“Hey Laura…” Carmilla tried again. “I found us some chocolatey snacks on the first floor.” Her persistence was met with silence. Laura remained still, her breathing soft and slow. It was unusual that Laura would sleep so soundly.

“Laura! Come on, it’s time to wake up.” Carmilla smiled softly, shaking Laura’s shoulder. Nothing.

Alarms began to sound at the back of Carmilla’s head. Pushing them aside, she tried shaking Laura a bit harder. “Laura. Wake up. Laura!” She shouted. No response. “Laura! Come on…I thought I was supposed to be the one that slept like the dead.” Carmilla tried to ignore the twist in her gut as she continued searching Laura’s face for any sign that she might be waking up.

But still there was nothing.

“Fuck.”

Running a hand nervously through her hair, Carmilla checked that Laura was, in fact, still breathing. It was faint but Carmilla watched the rise and fall of Laura’s chest, forcing the sight to calm the panic that was beginning to crawl through her bones. There was no need to check for a pulse as Carmilla was already intensely aware of every quiet beat of Laura’s heart.

Laura had only laid down for a short nap while Carmilla had gone to find something to eat. Carmilla had made sure to check that everything was safe and normal before she’d left. So what newfound hell could have caused this?

In response to her unvoiced question, a book collided with the back of Carmilla’s head, echoing as it fell open on the dirt-covered floor.

~*~*~*~*~

_“What…what do you mean?” Laura asked the room._

_“I mean, little one, that this place could become your home, if you wish.” The voice was moving now, circling Laura, but still she could see nothing._

_“But how? What is this place?”_

_The voice was growing again, “This place is whatever you want it to be.” As though on cue the fog began to lift, revealing couches and chairs and an old, brick mantel. There was a fireplace but no fire, yet Laura could clearly smell something burning. No not burning…cooking. Without looking into the next room Laura knew already that she’d see an old gas stove and a small, wooden table. And down the hall there would be two bedrooms. The smaller of the two clean and bright. Just as she had left it._

_Except, it wasn’t really her room. And this wasn’t really her house, though it certainly looked like it. Laura knew she was somewhere in the Silas Library’s subbasements and her home and her room were a lifetime away._

_The voice spoke from behind her, hovering beside her ear. “You don’t have to go back there, you know. To all that fighting and fear and death. You could just as easily stay here where everything makes sense and there’s no one to fail. It would be so easy. Just say the word and everything else will just…fade away.” The words echoed in her head, soothing her._

_“But…” Laura closed her eyes. It was so hard to think straight in such a strange yet familiar place. “But what about my friends? About Silas? About…”_

_“Shh, dear, shh.” The voice said. “Do you really think that they need you anymore?”_

_~*~*~*~*~_

Carmilla stared down at the carefully detailed painting in a book of Germanic legends. The book had fallen open to a story about a young man who had become so discontent with his life that his only relief was in sleep. Not so upset that he would actively end his miserable existence, the man simply wished that he need not wake up from the comfort of his dreams.

And it was while the man was sleeping in the forest that he was discovered by the Jäger. A creature of the spiritual realm that preyed on the depressed and vulnerable, the Jäger would offer a person the chance to sleep forever in exchange for their life.

They generally lived in places where depression and desperation ran rampant. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that one lived in a university library, Carmilla thought.

Once a Jäger had taken hold there was only one way for a victim to escape: their own free will. The Jäger could sway their opinion but in the end it was the individual who had to make the final decision. To sleep forever or wake to harsh reality.

The story ended with a painting of the shadowy Jäger floating away from the man who lay slumped beneath a tree, his worried family coming to search for him. Carmilla couldn’t look away, even as the page swam before her. If a Jäger, a depression hunter, had really gotten ahold of Laura……

But that wasn’t the part Carmilla was most worried about.

~*~*~*~*~

_Laura shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. “What are you saying? My friends need me, they…” she stopped, suddenly feeling very alone. As though she’d just woken from a dream. The only response was the soft drone of the TV and the aggravated chirping of birds somewhere outside. Inside there was only stillness._

_Glancing around the room, Laura could have sworn she’d been talking to someone, but there was no one there. And what was she talking about? Her friends? Terror suddenly shot through her. Her friends. Right. She had to find them. To save them. To save Car-_

_“Hey kiddo, you gonna come eat or just stand there?” Laura looked up. Her father, arms crossed as usual, was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. That’s right, she remembered, he was making them his special 5-Cheese Mac & Cheese. Laura could smell it in the oven._

_“Yeah I’m coming.” But there was still something Laura couldn’t shake. Like a knot in the pit of her stomach. Except it was moving, writhing around, trying to untangle itself. No, it wasn’t a knot. It was a snake. And it felt like if she didn’t settle it soon it might eat her whole._

_In some distant part of her mind Laura recalled a musty basement and a chilling fear like something was right on her heels. She spun around but only saw the front door. No monsters. No basement._

_It must have been a dream._

~*~*~*~*~

Painted throughout the margins of the picture were small creatures. They were spindly, monkey-looking things the size of ants. Hundreds of them. Most books never mentioned them. Probably to avoid the gorier parts of reality. There was no description of what they were or what reason they had for hovering around the edges of the Jäger story. But Carmilla knew.

They were the Gewimmel.

A swarm of nearly invisible carnivores that followed close behind the Jäger, cleaning up the physical remains of its meal. They traveled together in the millions and billions, leaving no trace that anyone had once been there, and making it seem as though people just disappeared. It was because of the Gewimmel that the Jäger had been able to remain so mysterious. Someone would have caught on if bodies were suddenly left lying around everywhere. The Gewimmel were the perfect clean-up crew.

And they were particularly thorough. The Gewimmel might follow the Jäger, only feeding off of its prey, but they weren’t particularly bright creatures. That is to say, they didn’t exactly have a distinguished pallet. Anyone who wasn’t infected by the Jäger was fine. But anyone else, alive or dead, was not so lucky. The Gewimmel had a difficult time finding the line between sleep and death.

Even if Laura was able to resist the Jäger it would all be for not if the Gewimmel showed up before she could wake.

Carmilla logically knew that there was no way for her to wake Laura, but that didn’t stop her from trying. Throwing the book to the side, she crept closer, pulling Laura’s head onto her lap and running her fingers through Laura’s hair. “Come on, Laura, wake up.” She pleaded, unable to keep the quiver from her voice. “Laura. Laura, please. I know things are horrible right now but you don’t just give up. If you did, you…you wouldn’t be you, remember?” Carmilla swallowed, fear threatening to consume her. But she held it at bay. Crying wouldn’t save Laura.

Her whole body was tense. Listening for any change in the atmosphere. Her every fiber tuned to sense the approach of the Gewimmel.

“I don’t blame you.” Carmilla whispered. “Not for Mattie or my Mother or the damn Anglerfish. Just, please…..come back to me, okay?” Carmilla bowed her head, touching her forehead with Laura’s. “I can’t lose you, Laura.”

She sat in silence, stroking Laura’s hair and gently rocking back and forth. All the while muttering under her breath, begging for Laura to come back, the words spoken like a prayer.

And then, ever-so-faintly, she heard them.

~*~*~*~*~

_“What’s wrong?” Laura’s dad asked her._

_“I…I’m not sure.” She looked around the living room as though she’d lost something, “But I think there’s something I need to do. I just don’t know what.”_

_Her father’s eyes were dark and unreadable. “You were probably dreaming of school, Laura.”_

_“Yeah. School. I think I have to go back. I think I forgot something there.”_

_Her statement was met with a hearty laugh that didn’t quite fill the empty space between them. “And why would you need to do that? You just got home. Didn’t you miss me?”_

_Laura looked up. “Of course. But…my friends. They need me.”_

_“No they don’t.” Something Laura couldn’t quite name flashed across her father’s face. “Do you really think that you would be able to help them? Everything you’ve done so far has only made things worse.”_

_“But…”_

_“Laura,” her father’s voice was stern, “the best thing you can do for Silas, for your friends, is to stay here, with me. Forever.”_

_He reached out his hand, inviting Laura to take it._

~*~*~*~*~

“Fuck!” Carmilla’s head shot up, turning towards the soft buzzing that was emanating from the long passageway. It was barely louder than the warm hum of a summer afternoon and was muffled even further by the weight of the library air. But it was there and Carmilla could hear it perfectly.

“Come on, Laura!” She said, shaking Laura’s limp shoulder without looking away from the empty passage. “Laura, please! Wake up!”

She knew they had about a minute. Two tops.

“LAURA!” She cried. “LAURA, PLEASE!”

The humming was getting louder and closer. In a few seconds, the vanguard of the swarm would reach their dead end corner of the library.

“Laura!” Carmilla pulled Laura up, cradling her to her chest, willing for some sign that maybe, just maybe, she was actually getting through to her. “You’ve got to wake up, Laura! Please, come on!”

But with each passing moment nothing changed. Nothing save for the buzz that was growing louder still. One minute. Tops.

Carmilla felt her nails dig into Laura’s arm. She was definitely still alive. There was no doubt about that as her chest rose and fell with every shallow breath. Her Laura was far too stubborn to just give up. Carmilla knew that the Jäger would have to work extra hard for this prize. But that stubbornness wasn’t exactly working in her favor. “Laura! Laura, please! Wake up you obstinate little-“

Carmilla stopped as a small, shadowy insect-like creature landed on Laura’s shoulder. Its six spindly little hands clinging to Laura's shirt as it bared its needle-pointed teeth. She swatted it away but it was soon replaced by a second. And a third.

The Gewimmel.

Carmilla tried to steady her panic as more of them began to land on Laura’s shoulders, her head, her stomach, her arms. They still had some time before the swarm arrived. Not much, but possibly enough.

Carmilla couldn’t give up. “Laura, please. You have to wake up, please, Laura.” Bending over, Carmilla nuzzled into Laura’s hair and whispered in her ear. “I need you, Laura!”

~*~*~*~*~

_Laura looked at the hand her father had offered. He was right -- she knew that if she went back to Silas she would only cause more damage. And really what was there to go back to? Friends she’d only hurt? A cause she’d thrown away? It would be so much easier to just stay._

_But still something stopped her from taking her father’s hand._

_And she had no idea what it was. Laura was certain that her friends would be better off. And it wasn’t like she could just pop back there even if she wanted to. Silas was miles away from her nice, cozy home. She knew it was. After all, how could this be a dream? It was all so real: the wear of the carpet beneath her feet, the warmth of the sun on her shoulders, the smell of damp earth and chocolate._

_That wasn’t right. Her dad had been making mac & cheese and they were inside on a clear, sunny day. So then why did it smell like…Laura stiffened as the image of a girl with dark waves of hair flashed through her mind. _

_Her father let out a laugh. This time it was cold and echoing. “She doesn’t love you. How could she? After everything you’ve done to her.” Laura knew it was true but hearing her father say it really drove the point home. She looked up to see him smiling, as though he hadn’t just voiced the very thought that would break his daughter’s heart. “So, are you coming, kiddo?” His hand was still outstretched._

_She reached to take it._

_“Laura!”_

_She stopped. The voice had come from nowhere and everywhere, tearing through her. Laura looked at her dad, knowing that the sound hadn’t come from him as he continued to stare down at her expectantly._

_“Laura, wake up!”_

_Again it tore through Laura like a surprisingly warm winter wind, bringing her to life._

_“Laura…please…”_

_Her father was saying something else, but Laura was hardly listening. She was still straining to hear that voice again. A voice that she knew almost as well as her own yet still couldn’t quite place. Like something was blocking the connection. Her father stepped closer, on his face the same stern gentleness that Laura had known her whole life. But whose voice was that? “Come with me, Laura,” her dad said, though she was hardly listening. She knew she had heard it before, but where? “What else do you have to live for?”_

Carmilla.

_Everything tumbled back into place as Laura finally recognized the voice. The strange smells, the sudden appearance of her father, the disembodied voice. All of it suddenly made sense to Laura as she stumbled backward. This was the dream. But then that meant….._

_“I’m sorry. I can’t.” She said, looking up at the imaginary face of her father. A face that was suddenly clouded with rage. “I have to go.”_

_But as Laura turned to leave she felt an invisible force pull her back. She tried to break free but it was too strong. A glance behind showed that her father had disappeared but the voice that rang in her ears was still his. “Why would you want to leave? This is your home.”_

_“Let me go!” Laura yelled, reaching for the door that she hoped would open back into reality. “I have to get back-“_

_“Back?” Her father’s voice mocked, “Back to what? To friends you have failed? To a cause you destroyed?” A pause. “To a girl who could never love you?”_

_But Laura wasn’t listening. She broke free as the voice laughed and she reached for the door. Her hand wrapped around the cold metal of the handle. Throwing it open she found…_

_Nothing._

_A white expanse unraveled before her. Towering shapes looming through dense fog. Laura ran._

_And she could hear something right on her heels._

_“Why do you run from me, kiddo?” The voice said, chasing her around corners. “Don’t you want to rest? To come home?”_

_Laura continued running, following a blind path of twists and turns. Unsure of where she was going but following one thing. A single word that rent through the mist._ “Laura _._ ” _Repeating over and over inside her mind._

_“Carmilla! Carmilla I’m here! I’m okay!” She tried to call out, but the words were swallowed by the thick air. The fog was suffocating her. And all the while the voice only one step behind, demanding for her to come back. To stay. To rest._

_Which is when she collided with a dead end._

_Picking herself up, Laura began to pound at the wall she couldn’t see. Tearing away chunks of brick and stone with blooded fingers, trying to escape before the thing that was not her father could catch her and drag her back. But with each strike Laura could feel herself sinking deeper and deeper as the fog grew thicker. All the while calling out “Carmilla! CARMILLA!” and only hoping that someone could hear her._

_And then everything went dark._

~*~*~*~*~

As the swarm of Gewimmel drew nearer, Carmilla continued to swat at any that dared come too close to her Laura. Even if Laura didn’t wake up, Carmilla wasn’t about to let her go without a fight. That’s just not what they did. But as two or three turned to ten or twenty, Carmilla felt her heart sink as tears of frustration fell into Laura’s hair.

She almost missed Laura’s hand twitch.

Wiping away tears and Gewimmel, Carmilla desperately grabbed for Laura. Pulling her close, Carmilla studied her face for any sign that she was waking up. The twitch of a lip, a gentle groan. Anything.

“Please, Laura, wake up!”

But Laura’s face remained still. “Laura…please…” Carmilla dared not look away even as a dark shadow that was the Gewimmel swarm came into the light of their encampment.

“….armilla….”

Laura’s voice was soft and distant but real. Oh so incredibly real and Carmilla couldn’t help but smile. She was waking up. Or at least trying to. There was some way -- some impossible way -- that Carmilla was getting through to her.

But they were out of time.

Using her own body and the blanket as a shield, Carmilla pulled Laura in close and draped herself over her body. She whispered Laura’s name like a mantra and hoped that Laura could somehow hear her and follow the sound.

The shadow of the swarm came upon them just as Laura’s eyes shot open.

~*~*~*~*~

Laura gasped for air as she came to, sending Carmilla reeling back with surprise.

She had only a moment to take in her surroundings (the musty library basement, the old bookshelves, a humming shadow retreating down a passageway) before Laura was completely enveloped by the smell of damp earth and chocolate as Carmilla threw herself at her.

“….Laura…” Carm’s voice was soft and fragile. Her hands, desperately digging into Laura’s hair and shoulders as though at any moment she might slip away. The two stayed for only a moment before Carmilla pulled back.

“Hey.” Laura said, still not quite sure of what exactly had happened. She remembered an odd dream and the sense that something was following her. But no need for…whatever this was. Right?

A pause. “Hey.”

“Carm…are you…what happened?” Laura blinked, puzzled and concerned as she noticed the tear stains running down Carmilla’s face. She wanted so badly to reach out and wipe them away but memories of the last time she had seen Carmilla’s angry, tear-stained cheeks stayed her hand.

Carmilla didn’t seem to notice. Instead, her eyes scanned Laura’s face, taking every inch as though she might disappear. “You’re alive.”

“Well, yeah.” Laura almost laughed. “Should…should I not be?”

Carmilla pulled Laura into another hug, breathing in the scent of her hair, rejoicing in the feeling of her sharp intake of breath. Her nails digging ever so slightly into Laura’s arms. Carmilla swallowed and shook her head. “No, of course not. You’re alright.” She nuzzled in deeper, reveling in the warmth that was Laura. Her Laura. “You’re alright.”

“Umm…” Laura muttered, still unsure of what was really going on. The fog was beginning to lift from around her dream. But that was all it had been, right? A dream? “Thanks for keeping me safe. While I slept, I mean.”

Carmilla laughed and leaned back slightly to look at Laura. “Laura, I…” She was smiling but her eyes were still desperately searching for something. After a moment, they stilled. “I’m glad you’re awake.” And without hesitation she leaned in and softly brushed her lips against Laura’s cheek.

Laura felt herself flush with surprise. Things had been so strange between them. One second she was sure Carmilla hated her and the next she was comforting Laura and bringing her snacks and now…this? Laura wasn’t about to leave things there. She wasn’t sure exactly what had happened but as her memories grew clearer she was sure of one thing: it had been Carmilla that had woken her up from whatever real or imagined danger she had been in. And Laura had to know. One way or the other she had to know where they stood.

So, grabbing Carmilla by the collar of her shirt, Laura pulled her close and kissed her.

It was brief, though long enough that a familiar warm, tingling sensation spread through Laura, waking her senses and clearing the last of the fog. When she pulled away the word vomit began. “Look, I know you still hate me and you probably always will but something weird just happened and I don’t know if it is real or fake and I just needed to-“

But all her worry and hesitation was put on hold as Carmilla tugged her back in for another kiss. Laura could feel the corners of Carmilla’s mouth as they turned up in a smile. Her lower lip caught between Laura’s own. Sparks of electricity shot off from every nerve ending in Laura’s brain, small explosions cascading through her body. And for that brief moment, Laura was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and, as always, Kudos and Comments would mean the world!


End file.
